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10:15 p.m. - 2004-10-04 It’s like when your in grade school and your Mom yells at you and tells you not to run with scissors. You never understand why. Until that one day when you fall, holding scissors, and you impale your hand, or throat, or something. THEN you know why. Relationships work quite the same. Everyone said “don’t take him back (don’t run with scissors).“ “he’ll hurt you (you’ll get hurt with those scissors).” Don’t fall for his shit(you’ll fall with those scissors).” BAM I fell for his shit, again, and got emotionally impaled. How fun. Story of my life. But I’m the dumb ass. The ass that is called dumb...ME!!! I knew it. And still took him back, and knew he would do something only the dumb of dumb would do and he did. So can I really blame him at this point for my emotional aguish? Fuck it, yeah I can. Bastard So I bought a new car. Love it! It’s total validation for my failed relationship. It makes me look so cool. If only I wasn’t so damn afraid to drive. I bet I’d look a lot cooler DRIVING it then sitting in front of my house in it. But it’s shiny and new. I have a shopping spree after each failed relationship. I seen this one failing and bought it 10 days before the break up. I must have really loved him. After my last boyfriend I just bought a new pair of shoes. This break up must be affecting me much deeper than I let on. Bastard. But I’m not bitter. I got a promotion at work. It’s great! I get to travel and talk and socialize a lot more than my comfort zone has ever allowed. I make more money. I have a lot of freedom in my daily activities. It’s really a very nice set up. Life is good. LOVE my job. I need a life.
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